


Halogen Lights

by handsomejacking



Category: Disco Elysium, Disco Elysium (Video Game)
Genre: Depression, M/M, Other, Slow Burn, canon end and kim end
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:34:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22986415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/handsomejacking/pseuds/handsomejacking
Summary: It's really not as bad as it could be.second person pov, long formweird writing style for the fandom but i have a typeslow burn coming back to reality harry/kim
Relationships: Harry Du Bois/Kim Kitsuragi
Comments: 5
Kudos: 17





	Halogen Lights

You take a step off the boardwalk and into the sandy dirt. For the first time, you are completely surrounded by people you trust. Or at least, you’re surrounded by people you feel you can trust. Your mind can no longer find the tally-marks of petty wins that were once plethoric. You need a clean slate, Harry. 

Trant’s car barely fits four, so you wave your goodbyes to Kim and pray to God that you see him again. You will. The Kineema fades quickly from your view from the tinted windows of the mechanical beast you’ve been stuffed into. Just too many cars and too much smog from the few coal plants still dotting Martinaise’s southern border to keep up, or maybe it’s the ridiculous speed Trant doesn’t seem to realize he’s driving at. The weather matches your mood, and suddenly you feel like Mikhael, trapped in his father’s ’51 motorized maw, headed towards a funeral for someone you don’t know. At least, you assume Mikhael has experienced that. To the best of your knowledge, all children go through this as a right of passage, and you in particular had many sickly uncles. Your thoughts continue to strangle you until you realize the car has gone silent, waiting for a response to a question you did not hear. Don’t worry, you’re great at improvising. 

“Uh... Yes. I think so.” The tone of your voice is uncertain despite your best efforts. The other passengers- your team- are silent. Obviously something went wrong here. 

“God damn it, Harry. I don’t care what the lieutenant says, you’ve lost it.” 

“Lost what?” You pat your pockets- you have your badge, your gun, and even about 5 real. 

“Your mind, you-“ Jean cuts himself off before ripping you a new asshole. You want to be angry, to put some bark in your bite, but something tells you that you should be grateful. You don’t know if it’s because you’ve hurt Jean or because you just hate yourself that much. 

“You’re going to have trouble in Jamrock,” Trant says. The smile on his face is kind, but his words stick to you. He means it. “Just be ready. Though I’m sure someone like you won’t have a problem." 

God, you wish you could be mad at him. He’s always been earnest. No matter what he says, how condescending or dismissive, it’s his honesty that endears people to him. With that honesty comes great respect, when it’s earned. You’ve known this for years, but honestly, anyone could figure that out within five minutes of meeting him. The rest of the drive goes by in silence, and you’re dropped off at the precinct. You were expecting a house. Or an apartment, or something. 

“Grab your shit and get out of here.” Jean is still biting at the bit to have his chance to really chew into you, but he’s not heartless, and you clearly aren’t ready for that. Judith picks up where he leaves off as he walks away. 

“Just… come back on Monday, and try to have everything together.” Judith smiles at you, but it's weak as she walks away. You don’t even know which desk is yours. 

You leave almost immediately after arriving. There is nothing for you there, not now. Not yet, maybe. You still live in purgatory, unsure of whether or not you want a clean slate. Whether or not you deserve a new life. You’re inclined to think that you don’t. For now, you leave it and try to get home, but it’s only a matter of time before you stop in the middle of the street and realize you’re completely aimless. You stop in a restaurant and get some food, loitering until it’s dark, then head back to the precinct. The lights are off, but you’re welcome inside. What a strange feeling it is. You spot a couch on the second floor and instinct consumes you. 

You wake to the hustle and bustle of what you assume is a normal day at the office. Everyone seems to be pointedly ignoring you, and for a moment, you are completely enveloped by self hatred. The disappointment you feel is familiar- waking up well into the day, your coworkers pointedly avoiding you, no one to care about you but yourself. At least they know you’re not drunk. If you were, they would know. You wobble down the stairs with the grace of an elephant and notice papers on your desk. Yes, your desk. It has been labeled for you, because you didn’t move shit and everyone could tell you were hopeless. You peel off the note with “Harry DuBois” scrawled messily onto it and sit down. 

It’s really not as bad as it could be. There’s no immediate health hazards- no mold, no blood, no beer. You clean out your drawers as best you can into the pint-sized trashcan at your station. When you finally get around to clearing off the desk, you see a file newer than all the others. Oh, shit. You didn’t think it’d be this soon. You practically tear it open and sign wherever indicated- this is Kim Kitsuragi’s transfer application. Someone down the line will inevitably delay this paperwork, so you should get it done immediately. Truthfully, who have you been without him? It’s been one day and all you’ve done is slept. You rush over to Jean’s office. You still aren’t completely sure how things work at 41, but you’re happy to assume Jean outranks you, at least managerially. 

When you open the door, you see not only Jean, but also Kim. Well, not just Kim, though he is the first to catch your eye. Judith, Trant, Jules, and Mack turn towards you with less surprise than you’d hoped. Did they all see you sleeping in the hall? Is this your normal?

**Author's Note:**

> chapter 2 is almost ready, i have an outline for the whole fic just not sure how many chapters itll be yet! hope you enjoy, this is my first long form fic <3


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